Éloge de la Fuite
October 24, 2009
Image by Ananda Serné.
Life in Paris was a sweet and endless nothing, which I adored. It’s only that you can’t keep postponing. For that’s what I love to do. Procrastinating, and filling the gaps meanwhile. I said to myself I’d not write here anymore, but I may not be reliable, after all. Today I felt the urgency to come back, even if I can only write whenever I’m down. Greta once said: there’s something we maybe have in common: a certain pleasure of “depression”. That sentence was quite devastating at the time, probably because it’s true. I find in sadness some beauty that I can’t tell. Meanwhile, Andrea recommended me to read Henri Laborit, so it all headed one direction. Accept. And yes, to escape is part of me, and it may not be the devil I always expected it to be.
“Quand il ne peut plus lutter contre le vent et la mer pour poursuivre sa route, il y a deux allures que peut encore prendre un voilier : la cape (le foc bordé à contre et la barre dessous) le soumet à la dérive du vent et de la mer, et la fuite devant la tempête en épaulant la lame sur l’arrière avec un minimum de toile. La fuite reste souvent, loin des côtes, la seule façon de sauver le bateau et son équipage. Elle permet aussi de découvrir des rivages inconnus qui surgiront à l’horizon des calmes retrouvés. Rivages inconnus qu’ignoreront toujours ceux qui ont la chance apparente de pouvoir suivre la route des cargos et des tankers, la route sans imprévu imposée par les compagnie de transport maritime. Vous connaissez sans doute un voilier nommé “ Désir ”.”
Henri Laborit/ Éloge de la Fuite.
I find a certain pleasure in depression too, but just when it unites me with something else, something bigger or someone else. Even if it’s someone I haven’t even met (yet I know her/him in a book or film or song or…).
If gloom traps me alone, and it’s a selfish sadness, then it’s hell and there’s no poetry in it. But yes, sadness seems so real, so true… like missing home. And, despite all its “evil”, it makes you think. Or maybe because we think too much we’re sad?
Jooo, vaya rotllo. Veus com em feies falta! Un peto and welcome back :-)
Can sadness be not selfish? Mmm, but Laia, you put in words what I can’t tell. Why so many think I only listen to depressive music when such a few understand it goes in another way, like you do? You always understand, Laiona. Moooltes gràcies!